Have you ever taken the time to think about how the people and things you love have changed throughout the course of your life? If not, take a few minutes right now and think of a few examples. If you’re like me, what has stayed the same and what has changed may surprise you.

I’m 25 days away from taking the big “I do” plunge, so naturally, the topic of love is on my mind. Once I really started digging into how who and what I love has changed over the years, I realized there’s one fundamental lesson to be learned from all this reflecting (more on that in a bit). Former PR pro turned blogger extraordinaire Lauren Weber wrote a guest post about how love and what matters most in life can quickly change, but I wanted to revisit the topic and go a bit deeper.

It’s not easy to get naked and let people in who we may not know and trust, but for the sake of this post, I want to share a few examples of how what I love has changed and stayed the same during my meager 26 years on this earth.

• When I was five, I loved to sing and perform for people. I carried around this little tape player with a microphone and would sing Debbie Gibson and Whitney Houston songs to anyone who would listen. Now, I’m not quite as brave, but I’m a big fan of singing karaoke duets. I keep the solo singing within the confines of my car.

• Up until my later high school years, I did not like talking to people I didn’t know well (somewhere shortly after kindergarten my fearlessness gave way to shyness). It’s not because I didn’t like meeting new people, but rather that I was shy. I wouldn’t even order a pizza over the phone. When I decided freshmen year of college that I wanted to major in integrative public relations at CMU, my dad was concerned because he knew I didn’t exactly have an affinity to public communication. Now, I embody my PR career and have embraced the world of mass communication (that of course has since exploded since the surge of social media).

• I sought out thrill-seeking experiences when I was younger. I loved sitting in the front seat of roller coasters at Cedar Point. I’ve gone parasailing three times, each time going one level of elevation higher. I loved going fast in cars, on my bike, on rollerblades and on sleds. Now, I’m not as big of a fan of high-intensity activities. I did climb a snow-covered volcano when I studied abroad in Chile, but you wouldn’t catch me on any roller coasters or sleds now, nor would I do an extreme sport like white water rafting. I am planning to hike another volcano and zip glide in Costa Rica next month, so I guess you can say I’ve settled in the middle on the extreme activities spectrum.

• I absolutely love to read. I’m told I started reading at two (prodigy child, right here). I used to compete with this girl in my fourth grade class to see which of us would read the most books in one week. My reading has shifted a bit now because I read way more online than I do in print, but I still have a hunger and passion for learning through reading.

• Growing up, my close friends were the people who I spent the most time with in person. Now, some of my closest friends are people who I met through social media who I don’t see every week. I love and care about them just as much as I do my friends who I’ve known for more than a decade.

There you have it – a glimpse into my current and previous loves in life. Maybe one day you’ll see pics of me as a five-year-old dressed like Debbie Gibson and belting into a microphone. If you’re really lucky, you may see pics of me when I loved having blonde hair (oh yeah, I was blonde for a good six years). That’ll give ya a laugh or two.

Now are you ready for the big, important lesson gleaned from all of this?

Who and what you love will continue to evolve as you move through the different phases of your life. That’s expected, and it’s natural. What happens that sometimes isn’t expected is when you stop doing the things you love or spending as much time as you should with the people you love.

That’s the grand lesson here: Always have love in your life. Always be doing the things that you love, and always find time to be with the people you love. If you find yourself slipping, regain composure and shift your focus back on to whatever love it was that used to surround you.

Your turn. Did you realize your loves in life have changed several times, or have they mostly stayed consistent? Feel free to start a trend and write your own post reflecting on the waves of love in your life. And if you do write your own post, you better be sharing it with me.

Photo credit

Sadly, stalking is a reality. Not just physical stalking…but also Internet stalking. Stalking is a terrifying crime that affects 3.4 million people in the U.S. annually.

This is a positive blog, and I’m not supposed to be talking about negative things, so why am I talking to you about stalking? If you don’t know Danny Brown (I have yet to meet him in person, but I’m sure he’s just as awesome IRL as he’s been through our online interactions), he created an amazing initiative called 12for12k – a social media led call-to-action with the goal of helping charities reach a wider audience through the power of social media.

Danny and his supporters have raised more than $100,000 so far, and currently, the focus is on supporting Jodi’s Voice. The purpose of the site is to provide an easy access point for information and links relating to Jodi’s Law and other stalking laws.

Jodi’s Law, as described on the website, came about due to this situation:

Current laws do not offer a clear enough definition of stalking nor do they carry a severe enough punishment. Jodi Sanderholm was 19 years old, valedictorian of her high school, dance instructor, and a college student when on January 5, 2007 she disappeared in broad daylight. Within hours Arkansas City, KS police department had her murderer & rapist in custody.

Her murderer was the object of multiple restraining orders placed by other young women and just the day before was accused of following another dance team member for miles until she went to the police department for safety. However, there were no laws in Kansas that would allow the police to arrest him for stalking.

Jodi was murdered by a stalker who had been watching her for 10 years, and she was killed at the ripe age of 19. Do the simple math. That meant this psycho had been stalking her since she was nine. Nine! That’s absolutely terrifying when you let it sink it.

How you can help

On June 23, Jodi’s Voice will be having a massive event in Las Vegas called Fight Stalking in partnership with Sky Combat Ace. Celebrities from the world of entertainment will be going up against each other in aerial combat. Supporters of each celebrity can back their champions with donations and messages of support, and the funds raised will go to Jodi’s Voice.

For 12for12k, they’re looking to achieve the following. Between now and June 23, you can help in these ways:

• If you or someone you know has been the victim of stalking and you wish to share your story, share in the comments (anonymously if you prefer) or on the 12for12k Facebook page.

• Add a 12for12k Twibbon to your Twitter or Facebook profile picture. Details can be found here along with instructions on how to change your picture.

• Write a blog post of your own, and either share your story or link back to this post to highlight what we’re trying to achieve for Jodi’s Voice.

• Make a donation to Jodi’s Voice, a full 501(c)3 registered charity (12for12k is talking with a few organizations to make a matching grant). You can use the ChipIn widget below, and it will go direct to Jodi’s Voice and you will receive a tax receipt (payments can be made via Paypal or credit card) – just click on the green ChipIn button. You can also embed the widget on your own blog by using the Copy option.

• Embed this video on your blog or share the link on Twitter and Facebook, and help raise awareness of some of the statistics around stalking.

And share this with friends and family who may be interested in helping.

Thankfully, I don’t have my own scary story of stalking to share. And I didn’t know of anyone who had been stalked, until I read Gini Dietrich’s post. Gini and I have not met in person yet, but I felt the kind of pain for her that you feel for someone you’ve known all your life. Read her post. And do one of the above listed suggestions to support 12for12k and Jodi’s Voice.

Together, we can move one step closer to making Jodi’s Law a reality. Strengthening the legal definition of stalking while increasing punishment will allow law enforcement agencies everywhere to better protect our citizens.

I’ve never cared for my last name. Even though it took until my late teenage years, I love and appreciate my very Italian and very unique first name (Nicolena, for those of you who only know me as Nikki). I always wished I had an awesome Italian last name to pair nicely with my first name. Not the case.

Stephan is not all that unconventional, but you wouldn’t believe how difficult it is for people to pronounce or spell. I’ve been Stephen, Stephens, Stefan…and everything in between. So you would think I’d be super excited to be less than three months away from snagging a new last name that is nearly impossible to misspell or mispronounce (MAL’s last name is Little).

It’s actually the opposite. All of a sudden, the thought of losing the last name I’ve had for nearly 27 years is terrifying. It’s like I’m giving up my identity. And with the social Web being such an integral part of my personal and professional life, my last name is also a huge part of my online identity. My last name is included on just about every online network or profile I’ve ever created. I’ve worked hard for the past five years to build a name for myself (or in other words, a personal brand, even though I still struggle with embracing that phrase). Now I’m steps away from giving up that name forever.

I know there are two simple solutions: Don’t take MAL’s name, or hyphenate my name. Hyphenating my name is not in the least bit appealing to me. So I’m left with the option of keeping my name as is.

It’s going against “tradition”, but as I talk to more people about it, I’m learning it’s not as uncommon as I’ve convinced myself it is. Yet, I can’t help feeling that I’m rebelling against marriage in some way. Is it acceptable to love someone enough to want to spend the rest of your life with them, yet not be in love with the idea of taking that person’s last name? Everyone who chose to keep their last name would say yes, right?

Maybe this is ridiculous and should be the least of my worries, but then I think about how I’ll have to make all the online changes. My Twitter handle (don’t worry, I already snagged @nikki_little), my website (yup, also bought nikkilittle.com – before I was even engaged!), my name on all the various profiles and networks that I’ve created, my email, etc.

I’ve been through this name switch process once already. Back when I first joined Twitter in August 2007, my very first handle was @EstrellaBella10, and I used that name on several other platforms and networks. When I switched over to @nikkistephan in October of last year (thank you Brand Camp University for the final push that convinced me to move over to my real name), I realized that some sites will not let you change your username. Therefore, I’m still EstrellaBella10 on sites like Delicious and Etsy. So, it’s not that I’m concerned with the name update process being arduous or tedious should I decide to change my last name. I’m concerned with having three different profile/usernames – essentially three different identities for one person – in an online world where consistency and uniformity are key when choosing the names that represent your online presence.

And frankly, I don’t know if I want to force people to know me by anything other than the name I’ve had all my life. Going back to the whole personal brand issue, I worry that I’m taking a few steps backwards if I switch my name. Trust me – I do not think of myself as some celebrity whose name is well-known and recognized across the universe. It’s not.

For those of you who have changed your name or are married to someone who has, what’s your experience been like? Am I making my personal brand and online identity a bigger part of this decision process than they should be?

Obviously, I’m looking for (and am in desperate need of) some feedback here, so your thoughts/insight/constructive criticisms would be much appreciated. And apologies for the more personal, less educational/give you something of value post.

Photo credit

This is a guest post by Lauren Weber.

We all do crazy things for love. People get tattoos expressing love. People go online and cross the oceans hoping to find a lifelong partner to love. People die for love.

While my story isn’t quite so dramatic, I will be the first to say that love has changed my life in so many ways. Here’s my story.

I went to college with a solid purpose: to earn a degree, which I would put to use one day. Halfway through my schooling, I decided to end my continuous string of boy drama and concentrate on something I never thought of: myself.

I decided I was going to move to Chicago after college to pursue my passion of public relations. I dreamed of loft living, relying solely on public transit and late nights dancing in the VIP section with my girlfriends.

Then something happened and snagged my plans: I fell in love. I tried to deny it at first. I told him that I had plans to move, so it was in his best interest to not get too close.

He didn’t get the picture, and after months of chasing me, I decided to give in and try dating him. Just weeks in, I knew I couldn’t live without him being part of my daily life. We vowed our hearts to each other in marriage three years later.

Chicago was then out of the picture. Growing up a farm boy, he couldn’t fathom the idea of leaving family behind and not having easy access to green spaces. I compromised. If we couldn’t do Chicago, I wanted to work in Detroit (and live in the ‘burbs to appease him). Fortunate for me, he followed after I landed a job.

We knew we didn’t want to wait long before starting a family…and a year and a half later, we found out we were going to be parents. It was one of the most amazing feelings ever.

When I saw our little girl for the first time, her life flashed before my eyes: I saw her first day of school, her walking across a stage and receiving a diploma and finally falling in love with someone just as I had.

The thought of missing a single moment of my little gal’s life filled me with tension, and nothing seemed to matter but being in her presence – reading to her, wiping away her tears and yes, even changing her messy diapers.

Despite having a career many would love, I gave it up. At first I shuttered at the thought of giving up on the college degree and career I had worked so hard for to just stay home. But as time went on, I began to see things differently. I thought what better way to put my college education to use than staying home while she’s young to teach her and help prepare her for her life ahead?

My career can wait. My baby and her life can’t.

So, fast-forward to now: We are on a tight budget. No big future vacations planned. We won’t be getting a new vehicle any time soon. And yet, I’ve never been so sure that this was the right decision.

I may be financially poorer now than ever, but I’m richer in love than I’ve ever been.

How has love changed your life?

Photo credit

Lauren Weber is a former PR professional turned stay-at-home mom and freelance writer. When she’s not changing diapers or trying to get her daughter to say “ma-ma,” she’s keeping up with Detroit news and sharing things she finds interesting on Twitter. Follow along: @LaurenWeber84.

I had a meeting tonight with a friend I see about once a month. We met at her office, and I noticed a vase with these gorgeous red flowers with long stems. I commented that they were beautiful. My friend then told me that her husband brings flowers to her office every single Tuesday. I asked what was so special about Tuesday. She said it’s the first day of the week she’s in the office, and her husband always brings her flowers that will last her the entire week. He thinks it’s important that she has a beautiful vase full of flowers to brighten up her office every week.

Call it cheesy, corny or over the top, but I see it as devotion and love in their purest forms. Think about the small amount of time it takes my friend’s husband to go to the florist, buy flowers and drop them off at her office. An hour, tops. That small gesture brings rewards that last the entire work week.

Think about the things you can do for others that only take a fraction of time out of your day but will make a lasting impact. Then, do those acts of kindness and love whenever you can.

Photo credit

I’ve been living vicariously through my many early-to-wed friends for the past three years. They were lucky to find real love in their early twenties (some started dating their now husbands/wives in high school) and decided there was no point in waiting to tie the knot. I’ve attended 10 weddings in the past few years, growing increasingly anxious for when it would be my turn. I’m one of those who grew up believing I would be married with kids by 25 (ambitious thinking, right?). Well, that didn’t happen, and frankly I’m A-OK with it.

I was lucky enough to have met the incredible MAL three years ago, and we’ve been together ever since. Our love story entered a new chapter last weekend when MAL proposed to me in Glen Arbor on the shore of Lake Michigan after hiking Sleeping Bear Dunes.

Sidenote: I HIGHLY recommend staying at the Sylvan Inn if you visit Glen Arbor. It’s a five out of five stars bed and breakfast.

I’d like to extend my deepest gratitude to the wildly-successful Pure Michigan marketing campaign for making me want to travel in-state, which resulted in the perfect opportunity for MAL to propose. Of course the proposal would have still been memorable if we were hiking in Denver or lounging on a beach at some tropical resort. But now we’re only four hours away from revisiting a city that will forever be “our special place”.

On to the wedding planning! We don’t have a date set yet, but we’ve already agreed on one thing: Our resounding love for Detroit means we want to have a Detroit-themed wedding with the reception (hopefully!) in the city. Luckily I have an amazing friend/event planner/bridesmaid/wedding planner to help me along the way.

Feel free to share any wedding tips/tricks or your engagement story in the comments!

Ernie Harwell, a Detroit legend who was the broadcaster at Detroit Tigers games for 42 seasons, passed away on May 5.

I didn’t grow up listening to Ernie’s voice on the radio as he gave the play-by-play at games. I don’t associate summers from my childhood with Ernie narrating the games like many baseball fans do. I have no recollections of ever watching a baseball game on TV or in person while Ernie was broadcasting it. All the knowledge I have about Ernie Harwell I gained through stories in the media and MAL, who was a huge fan (proven by the fact that the cat he found in an alley by Comerica Park is named Ernie). Ernie may not have directly impacted my life, but he definitely has indirectly, and I’m proud to say we shared the same hometown.

From what I’ve learned about Ernie, I know he was a gentle, friendly and humble man who loved life, his family and the great sport of baseball. He was so much more than the voice of the Tigers. His voice impacted and touched the lives of people in a very uncommon yet profound way for a sports broadcaster. Ernie gave people the sense of comfort and care, and many felt they knew him simply because they listened to him call the games year after year.

When Ernie learned he had terminal cancer, he fearlessly accepted God’s plan. He gave a speech to his fans at Comerica Park (which I did watch) and focused more on comforting them than discussing his illness, telling them not to cry and showing gratefulness for the long and full life he was so lucky to have lived. Ernie boldly promised that he was ready to face whatever came his way, whether the road leading home was short or long.

Shouldn’t we all aspire to be like Ernie? Personalities so grand, yet a quiet sense of humility and grace. Love and passion so large that it could fill an entire room. A deep sense of care for others. A passion for a career that is so profound that it will continue to echo in this city and the sport of baseball for years to come. Being so proud and fulfilled from 92 years on this earth that you can bravely accept death and not sink in despair from a laundry list of regrets. Sixty eight years of marriage with love that was as strong as when you said “I do.” Knowing that the way you lived your life had such an amazing affect on so many others.

We can take away one, or 10, or 50 lessons from Ernie Harwell’s passion and love for his work, his city and everyone he encountered in life. He may be gone, but his story will be passed on from generation to generation. Gems like Ernie deserve to have their memories preserved so others can continue learning the lessons they leave behind.

Photo credit

Alan had previously wrote about a monument that sits on a hill next to the Crain Communications building. A plaque on the side of the monument was totally covered in graffiti. He more recently wrote that he could no longer see the graffiti because the overgrown grass was hiding it, and he called out MDOT for lack of care. Some wise person at MDOT did a good job of listening to the convos going on about their company on the Web, and MDOT took care of the grass the same day Alan filed the story. However, the crew left a tree-like weed behind the monument.

Alan planned to write a column acknowledging the mowing (but still calling out the weed that remained) the next day, but somebody had removed the graffiti and weed. Alan had received an e-mail from Chris Peraino, property manager for Hospice of Michigan, saying the situation had been taken care of. Chris read Alan’s column and decided to take it upon himself to remove what the MDOT crew had left behind. This is a man with some serious motivation and love for Detroit! How many people do you know who would do something like that?

Check out Alan’s entire column here. It’s not every day that we read about people in our community as gracious as Chris, so he deserves major credit. We should all follow suit and take it upon ourselves to make a difference, rather than sitting back and waiting for someone else to.

It’s really refreshing to read articles like this one that combat all the negative publicity D-town has received in recent months (unfortunately for a variety of reasons that do not fall into the realm of this blog’s topics!). So a big high-five to The Bowling Green News for showing O-H-I-O (I’ve been succumbed to being a partial OSU fan, I’m sorry!) that Detroit really does stand out from the crowd — in a POSITIVE way!